Issue Date: 10/3/05
Sex in America - Losing love in the bedroom
By John Asbury
- Page 1 of 1
The birds and the bees have been exterminated, or at least Cupid has left the bedroom. Boy meets girl, boy and girl dance the same tired game and pretty soon boy and girl have sex.
For nearly all college students, the routine is the same. Yet, that in itself presents the problem - sex has become nothing more than a routine, a benefit, a thrill on a whim. While sex does come as a raw carnal instinct for men and women, as a society, its role should not be dismissed in a relationship without first considering the emotional consequences it carries. Sex has become so casual that it has lost any type of significant meaning beyond the bedroom.
According to a recent "Playboy" survey, 70 percent of college students said they had experienced a one-night-stand, while more than 60 percent classified themselves as single.
Sure, sex is going to happen, it's a physical and fun part of life, but when a fling happens, one has to wonder if both parties began the night thinking it wouldn't go any further. When that line is crossed, it still transfers a sense of intimacy. Considering sex is indeed a human urge, so are love and attraction, which carry equal if not more weight.
This is something everyone should consider before taking a relationship or even an evening to the mattresses. We all have to realize what usually leads to sex. An attraction must exist and a certain level of comfort has to be established.
Sex is a bond that both people share, even if just for a moment. That bond alone leads to making each individual completely vulnerable, at the mercy of his or her partner. This immense trust allows most people the confidence to give up their bodies, which at one time were so guarded. However, while letting go of all inhibitions and fears, more feelings are bound to arise rather than the simplicity of a quick fling in the sack.
That's why its so troubling to see sex treated so carelessly. Rather than giving their partner the respect and common decency they deserve, more people are content with a quick hit-and-run. Though sex was once perceived as an act of affection, it is now done with blatant disregard. What might be a quick satisfaction for one person might be the cornerstone of a serious relationship for someone else.
"Because sex has the potential to be so hurtful, that is what makes it an ethical issue," said human sexuality professor Katie Townsend-Merino.
Even the definition of sex is no longer clear. Where some religious groups have been more transfixed on discouraging sex for moral reasons, the mass media has glorified sex frivolously. Neither extreme recognizes its importance and meaning for couples.
Sex needs to be accepted as a part of life and not treated like everyone's dirty little secret. Though with that acceptance, we need to be advocating awareness above shame or carelessness. Communication is the key to successful sexual relations and the only way to maintain a healthy relationship.
Sex in a general sense is fine, but it's rare that it's accomplished with no strings attached.
For nearly all college students, the routine is the same. Yet, that in itself presents the problem - sex has become nothing more than a routine, a benefit, a thrill on a whim. While sex does come as a raw carnal instinct for men and women, as a society, its role should not be dismissed in a relationship without first considering the emotional consequences it carries. Sex has become so casual that it has lost any type of significant meaning beyond the bedroom.
According to a recent "Playboy" survey, 70 percent of college students said they had experienced a one-night-stand, while more than 60 percent classified themselves as single.
Sure, sex is going to happen, it's a physical and fun part of life, but when a fling happens, one has to wonder if both parties began the night thinking it wouldn't go any further. When that line is crossed, it still transfers a sense of intimacy. Considering sex is indeed a human urge, so are love and attraction, which carry equal if not more weight.
This is something everyone should consider before taking a relationship or even an evening to the mattresses. We all have to realize what usually leads to sex. An attraction must exist and a certain level of comfort has to be established.
Sex is a bond that both people share, even if just for a moment. That bond alone leads to making each individual completely vulnerable, at the mercy of his or her partner. This immense trust allows most people the confidence to give up their bodies, which at one time were so guarded. However, while letting go of all inhibitions and fears, more feelings are bound to arise rather than the simplicity of a quick fling in the sack.
That's why its so troubling to see sex treated so carelessly. Rather than giving their partner the respect and common decency they deserve, more people are content with a quick hit-and-run. Though sex was once perceived as an act of affection, it is now done with blatant disregard. What might be a quick satisfaction for one person might be the cornerstone of a serious relationship for someone else.
"Because sex has the potential to be so hurtful, that is what makes it an ethical issue," said human sexuality professor Katie Townsend-Merino.
Even the definition of sex is no longer clear. Where some religious groups have been more transfixed on discouraging sex for moral reasons, the mass media has glorified sex frivolously. Neither extreme recognizes its importance and meaning for couples.
Sex needs to be accepted as a part of life and not treated like everyone's dirty little secret. Though with that acceptance, we need to be advocating awareness above shame or carelessness. Communication is the key to successful sexual relations and the only way to maintain a healthy relationship.
Sex in a general sense is fine, but it's rare that it's accomplished with no strings attached.